I have tried writing this first post one hundred times. I thought it would be interesting to write a blog about myself, or, at least, a half-hearted attempt at saying why it is I feel I need a blog to begin with, considering I have a Tumblr account. But, in the end, I could not seem to compose a great post elaborating on these points indirectly. Thus, I shall take the direct route because I was never one for subtly anyways.
When comes down to it, Tumblr is a great service for quick posts and for quick responses. But for me…I don’t run in that type of environment well. I am, like a dwarf, “very dangerous over short distances.” I tend to take longer, scroll slower. I don’t want to make my experience with someone’s art or work to be a quick-like-reblog-and-done type of deal. That doesn’t, in my mind, do anyone any favors, especially someone like me who likes to hear people’s voices beyond tags and replies (because tags are some of the single most shallow things I have seen, beyond their pragmatic use (as in to identify a post for easy accessibility at a later date), and replies don’t give anyone enough words to say anything coherent). Or through ask messages that hardly anyone every uses unless, I guess, they are the most popular person in town, but I think that is jealously talking rather than pure fact.
Tumblr has its place, and one which I gladly accept and will continue to use, but I needed another outlet to express myself. To talk, to vent, to explore, to question, to sit…to speak. And I wanted it to be in a place that is designed for long-winded conversations, not quick tweets.
Maybe this blog will become a discovery about me, a kind of “behind the scenes” type of deal for anyone who is curious. Maybe no one will venture this far south, and this blog will remain filled with thoughts with only one sole person to view them.
But either way, I felt this place needed to be created, crafted, and forged. I need a space in which I can ramble on and on and feel like someone won’t keep scrolling down to find the like button, or, tragically, to keep moving on as though I wasn’t worth their time. As though reading has become a lost art, and only a few know the fruit of its labors.
Either way, I want to consider this place an introspection into myself; a blog just as much for me as you. A place to post art, yes, but, in some small way, a place for you to journey beyond the fast-paced world we live in.
I invite you to slow down with me; to ponder, to question, to think, and most importantly: to be present.
A professor once told me that the single best thing he could ask for from his students was that they “be present.” That is, that they are engaged, if not verbally, mentally with him. That we, his students, weren’t just husks zoning out into another world while physically being present in his class. Instead, he asked that we try to be present with him as he was present with us.
And I think he was on to something. Something I have taken with me in life. That the single best thing in the world is to be present with someone–with the person sitting right in front of you, not whose buzzing on your phone. With the words and voices that come from a screen or a page in a book. Whatever the engagement, whatever the thing, that we take the moment, the pleasure, the time, to experience and exhaust ourselves by doing more than just scrolling, or liking, or composing witty one-liners. Instead, to better ourselves by being present in another.
Thus, with that I shall wish you all a very fond farewell.
Until next time,